lost more games than i played
so refreshing to be wrong

like a chasm separated
from the writhing warmth
of consensus of society

if you find yourself here
be of good cheer

to be alienated
from the burning fires of babylon
is not so bad
not so bad

here begin the lessons of samyama

once one has meditated awhile
and gained some sense of solid silence
the sutras of samyama may be practiced

step one = quiet mind
step two = mental statement of the sutra
step three = quiet mind
step four = discover for yourself

the first sutra of samayama:

…LOVE…

how do you know
you’re not dreaming right now?
are you pretty sure
you’re awake right now?

if you were dreaming
how would you know?

many times i have been dreaming
and convinced myself
i was truly awake
only to later awake
to realize i had been dreaming

light switches are a good clue
if you can flick the switch
and change the light levels
you might just be awake!
if instead
the lights do not change
and some narrative explains it away
you’re still dreaming!

mirrors are an interesting second choice
you inhabit many bodies at the same time
which face shows up in the mirror?
do you recognize it easily?
do the eyes move around?
is the mirror shattered
a different reality in each twisting shard?
you might be dreaming!

who is this dreamer?
who does the dreaming?
what is the dream the dreamer dreams?

cat jumps on the bed
sun shines through the house plants
a wo/man rubs their eyes
the dreamer awakes

i was just dreaming!
what was the dream?!

..do you remember?

something kept the innocence
from leaking out too fast

curled around the iron heat vent
breathing slow and vast

we urgently inquired
for a new revelation
to share amongst the people of the earth
yet always was the answer the same

silence

precious silence
that great clear hot
from which all doth arise
and sublimate
and thence evaporate

look to the bright
it’ll go alright

swimming lazy
languid in that blissful ocean

fighting for life
living life
for the thrill it might ignite
living life
for the thrill it might kill you

alive in the moment
all we really have
is right now

warbling sparrow
perches on a limb
colourful markings upon its feathered dress

brook tinkles hollow
hidden beyond the bend

the sun reflects warmly
polarized and spun
bouncing off the blue melting ice

higher up
and deeper in

energizing both
the vertical
and the horizontal

360 degree emergence
radiating from the heart

five fragile notebooks
pencil on paper etched
– some distant madness –
from the past
have been discovered!

first pages of each booklet read as follows:

I – Tome
cantor’s infinity

strive too hard
lose the context

then it came to pass
(in those days)
before the galactic core eruption
that blue star
they’d all see
sooner or later
that they were eating kraft dinner
and their minds thereby dulled

II – Tome
there is something to this
alone in nature
[redacted]
…feel better
with cat
honestly better
with nearly every
[redacted]
almost always worse
(find people
who make you feel good)

III – Tome
all of it spun
from the thriving hum
of electric blue

dark monks
“insane”

everything is great
in 2008

IV – Tome
join a think tank

at this point
how can you think
this is helping you?
all this use
makes the body hurt
makes one tired and bored

V – Tome
new beginnings
divinely unfolding now

don’t miss a thing
drink it all in
a dear nokken
jumps from the fountain

there once was a factory
thrumming and humming
thriving in the forest

employing many from the nearby village
a high tech oasis
hidden within the mountains

an offer was made
the board of directors approved
the judge approved
and the factory was sold
to a foreign acquisition

at first it was business as usual
machines still hammered out their metal symphony
chemicals wafted sickly sweet
couriers made their deliveries and pickups
the workers made their paycheques

perhaps it was inevitable
profits are king to corporations after all
beholden to shareholders
and not to employees

the first wave of layoffs hit
old friends with tears in their eyes
receiving their walking papers
sure they received some severance
(less income taxes of course)
some token counselling
and after much delay
after the severance was long gone
and their bills overdue
finally some employment insurance
(less income taxes of course)

the village adjusted
some people got new jobs
some people moved away
some people vanished and were never heard from again
perhaps they were lost in a bottle
waiting for the rent to run out
waiting for the end to come

and it was business as usual
until the next wave of layoffs hit
this time
severance would be paid out
so long as the workers maintained their posts
for some weeks or months as the case might be
to help break the factory down
and ship it off to mexico

day by day
the machines were shut down
the stock shelves were packaged up
then the shelves themselves were dismantled
and put into trucks
and shipped off to mexico

music blared over the ancient speakers
entertaining a dusty vacant floor
with nobody left to listen
to the machines that hummed no more

a small village in the forest
struggles to pay its bills
with its heart ripped out
as elsewhere
greed consumes the lot

it’s that curious time of year
airs alternating
freezing cold winds
and gentle warming breezes

the snows and ices are melting
shrinking before a strengthening sun
retreating back
to expose the covered earths and rocks and plants
decayed ice shattering down the cliffs
bonds melted from their vertical rocky grasp
crashing into ditch and road
beware the plunging rocks!
bouncing on the pavement
splitting into additional stones
jagged
cutting the edge of tires
denting up the bodywork
smashing oil pans and mufflers

and i climbed up
that jagged precipice
grasping saplings and raspy edges of granite
buried within the crystallized hillside
clambered onto the highway
cars whisking left and right
spraying me with their salty splashes

i walked into town
and i grew two inches
as the mud mounted
layer by layer
step over step
thick beneath my winter boots
scraped periodically
against the concrete curb

muttering whispers
spirit on the wintry winds

ragged rantings
of the ancient dead

shivering
the ravens huddling within their trees

purring
the cats in their warm soft spaces

coughing
the old man in his ragged coat

silent
the crocus bulbs beneath the icy snows